In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize