he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
