loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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