I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
