I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
not ubering you a puppy
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize