Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
