Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
