I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
