New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
a search helicopter?!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
