careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
