I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
high people should be assigned attendants
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize