i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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