dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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