that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
