dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
