Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
