My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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