I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
my poor anus
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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