Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
