She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
