My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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