Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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