its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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