the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
