i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
