I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
