No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
