I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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