I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
