I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
