how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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