Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
