you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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