I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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