Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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