Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
