Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
