All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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