Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
