it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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