If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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