? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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