Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
