There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
