then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
