It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
