Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
