Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize