Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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