I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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