I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
