I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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