How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize