Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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