woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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