I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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