He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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