that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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