Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
