We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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