Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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