so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
