that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
