It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
