he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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