their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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