Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
