Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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